Bernard Zauss, My Pappaw

August 5, 2009

Today my family gathered for my grandfather's funeral. There are countless wonderful things that I could say about this man and my memories of him, but I think that it is best to simply post my sisters eulogy. She did a fantastic job, very moving, and very true.

As I sat down to plan this eulogy, I realized just how much there was to say about my Papaw. There are so many different ways to go with this...

I could write it about the Greatest Generation. Papaw’s life is nothing short of an American family portrait. He came from the Great Depression, faced with despair, but he didn’t recall a missed meal or a complaint. His recall is of sharing milk and produce from the farm with those who were hungry. I often heard him say, “We were poor, but we didn’t know it”

Then, at a time in his life that should have been filled with innocent adventure, love, carefree moments, he was fighting a war in the most primitive conditions in the islands of the South Pacific on the USS Hammul. His destroyer was torpedoed and he was thrown from port to stern. Knowing he was badly injured, bruised for the waist down, he went to the ship’s doctor who told him, "Go about your business son, there are people hurt far worse than you." And so he did and therefore left a purple heart that day in a very unselfish gesture.

He knew the true meaning of sacrifice from material possessions and real blood, sweat and tears but was humble enough to never brag about what he had done or what he had been through. People of this generation loved each other, loved life, loved their country and weren’t afraid to say it!

And while Papaw was definitely a picture perfect member of the Greatest Generation, there is so much more to say.......He was Compassionate! He was a sweet man! His brother Vin said, “I think of your Dad as we grew up as the kindest brother one could possibly have. He maintained that kindness his whole life. He took care of my Mother and Dad in their old age while the rest of his Sib's left to follow their stars. He took care of your Mom for many difficult years. He loved your Mom very deeply. Kindness was certainly safe with him.”

Papaw was always there for a hug and kiss and never afraid to say “I love you.” He was one of the first people you ran or picked up the phone to call even just 2 weeks ago.... to tell news about grades, points scored, awards, engagements, acceptances, the reception one got at an art show, babies born and he was as excited as if it was his own accomplishment.

Maybe more importantly was that we went directly to him with our heartbreaks and disappointments. He always knew what to say and sometimes there was nothing to say but to know that it was OK to be sad. He listened to our disappointments, hurt feelings, broken relationships, news of illnesses and deaths, house fires and always carried your burden as if it was his own.

He had so much compassion for people that he didn’t even know or weren’t his family. He adopted every employee at the Sterling house, knew what they were going through . He always had compassion for the underdog. Allyson tells a story of a waitress that treated him badly and while it angered her, he explained that "You never know what people's lives are like, and what they carry around with them."

He loved his wife, Mary. How many times did you catch them holding hands, stealing kisses. He grieved so deeply for her, often saying that his heart was broken in two. Their marriage was a terrific example for all of us.

I saw Papaw cry many times: Happy times like weddings, graduations and births... Moving times...when he looked across a large body of water, or visiting a war memorial ..... and Sad times like deaths and good-byes. We all know how much he loved us because he told us and he talked to everyone about his family. Every conversation was begun by him going down the line and updating you an all the others....

Another angle I could take with the would be... The postman, and that he delivered. Corny but true... He delivered everything from a sweet-smelling love letter to a Queen bee. He was on time, dependable, cared about his patrons and their welfare. He would often knock on doors when things looked awry. He and his Gravel-dust-caked Ford with Brach’s cinnamon discs and 1,000s of rubber bands and a CB in order to let Granny know he was on his way for his noon meal. The postman...that’s predictable and the Marvellettes had already wrote a song about it!

Focus on the farmer. After he had seen the world, he went back to the family farm back to his roots and heritage. He kept the family farm running and maintained the homestead for generations of Zauss’. Raising cattle and row crops and a family. The farmer in him never left as he was a superb gardener and nature lover. Somehow, produce always tasted better from his garden. He was a naturalist and enjoyed unusual flowers and anomalies like four leaf clovers. He was a bird watcher and especially like sand hill cranes. Of course, all of these things are true about my Papaw and truly worthy of the subject of a eulogy, but I still wasn’t satisfied.....

I know, the one this that set him apart.......He was the King of Jokes, one-liners and funny sayings! Yes, a walking, talking joke encyclopedia! He had the uncanny ability to tell, remember and re-tell jokes. Some jokes he saved until just the right moment. He had a rare sense of humor...very sarcastic, the kind that made you want to crawl under the table ....every joke was immediately followed by “oh, Bernard!”........and fortunately the gene that carries that has been passed down (Uncle Kenny, Ben, Adam, Kyle)

Think about it? Did you ever have a conversation in person or on the phone when he didn’t tell a joke or try to pull your leg?
He had:
★Blonde jokes

★Political jokes

★President Jokes, Bush, Bill, Hillary, Billary ( turns out Clinton years were good for him)

★ Bar jokes is various combinations of people and animals sitting at the bar

★100’s of plane going down jokes with one parachute short with various mixtures of people......lawyers, doctors, movie stars, presidents, priests, rabbis, blondes, sports stars

★And the same type of joke with St. Peter and the Pearly gates

★Jokes we wished he would never tell

★Jokes we wished we could hear again

★IU jokes

★Purdue jokes

★IU vs. Purdue jokes

★Good news/ Bad news jokes

★Jokes about where one should or shouldn’t be buried

★A Birate Joke

★a CM goldfish joke

★Doctor jokes

★Pharmacist jokes

★Lawyers jokes

★Redneck jokes

★Insurance jokes

★Santa jokes

★Halloween jokes

★Losing one’s memory jokes

★How many people does it take to change a light bulb jokes

He pulled pranks EVERY April fool’s day

He said funny things like:
★Kok -e-mo and St. Jo-ann of Arc, Lowles home improvement

★ sick you go to the Horse-pital

★color... poiple and it was beauuuutiful

★Coke-e-Cola

★rolled oats, roasting ears, roast beast and they were scrumptious

★ you wore britches

★He loved to spend time in BROWN county

★He greeted you with Helloooooooo

★He sang like Popeye the Sailor man

He never missed church, Purdue BB ball or the Young and the Restless....his favorite character...Dutch

He told us that “it will stop hurting when it quits” and got his pocket knife out to just cut that sore part off. Then he would put Campho phenic on it

He said “whatever will be will be even if it never comes to pass”
Glad you got to see me
Come after breakfast, bring your own lunch and leave before dinner
We should go to bed so these people can go home

I feel as if i have only scratched the surface of this great man, my Papaw.
90 years on this earth and sharp as a tack until the last couple days. The doc sad that his heart gave out....not surprisingly he died of a broken heart from the loss of Granny.